


Healing Bonds

by jairyn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Anisoka, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), anisoka family, father daughter bonding, vadful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 02:32:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19242037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jairyn/pseuds/jairyn
Summary: Since it's Father's day in America, I decided to go back through my Rey theory variants and I discovered a theme I never noticed before. Ashla has an obsession with knowing her dad, having a relationship with him and wanting her parents together. Nearly all of them center around that. So here is one of my all time favorites, though I never finished it and sort of just picked out the parts I liked.My original Rey theory story had a slightly different flow in which Ashla met and fell in love with Starkiller sooner and they were going to get married, but then I found out my timeline was a little off so how they ended up together changed considerably. This was written before that change so it doesn't tie into my Rey theory as easily as some of the others.Starkiller succeeds in capturing Ashla and takes him to his master, Darth Vader (not knowing that he is actually Ashla's father). When Vader finds out the truth, he kills his apprentice planning to take the girl to his own master, only to discover that she's unlike anyone he's ever met, except of course, his old padawan. Can Ashla change his mind about the path he's walking and ultimately offer him healing for the old wounds he's never been able to let go?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It takes place some time during the Empire Strikes Back so Ashla is in her early twenties. The original chapter she would have met Starkiller in and fell in love with him was chapter 22 of Legacy of Light. So if you've read up until that point you'll at least understand some of the parts referenced in the story. But even if you haven't read the original story, it still somewhat stands alone. 
> 
> I really really love Ashla and I love the idea of her being put face to face with Vader because I don't really have a doubt in my mind that she would have been able to reach him on a level no one else really could. Some of it stems from her motivation to have her father in her life, but a lot of it comes from her personality; her humor, her genuineness, her love. (And just how much she's like Ahsoka in disarming Anakin lol).
> 
> It skips around a tiny bit and I apologize if it's not real clear, there was originally going to be a lot more to it but as with a lot of my projects they get set aside and I never get a chance to get back to them. So plot wise- not my best story ever, but I hope you enjoy the father daughter moments, because I love them so much :)

          "Master! I brought you a gift!" Starkiller sounded so proud as he pushed her forward and bowed before Vader. She looked up at her father nervously wondering how this was going to go. 

          Vader turned around slowly, and she swallowed as she remembered the glimpse she'd gotten of her mother fighting him. Except there was no crack in his helmet this time. No skin, no eyes. Nothing to make him look remotely human. "Who is this?" He demanded. His labored breathing loud and exaggerated by whatever vocalizer had been put in his suit. 

          "This is Ahsoka Tano's daughter." Galen said, standing tall as though he'd just captured the rarest of creatures. She frowned at him. Vader froze mid-step as he'd started moving towards them. But then went about pretending as though that information had meant nothing to him. Did he know just by that small piece that she was also his? It seemed to have startled him though he hid it well. "Now we can draw her out and finish her, once and for all."

          "Leave us." Vader said finally, recovering his composure. Then he force pulled her mother's lightsabers out of Starkiller's hands. Galen looked momentarily confused but then bowed obediently and left the room. If he'd been expecting praise or a reward, he was sorely disappointed.

          She watched him go and then turned back to see Vader looking over the lightsabers in his hands. She wished she could see his face, to read what he might be thinking. For some reason, even though the man before her was also evil, she felt safer with him than she had with Starkiller. Maybe it was the knowledge of who he'd once been. Maybe his hesitation gave her hope that he would not destroy her. Or maybe she was just looking for a reason not to be scared. It wasn't like she could do much. The binders on her wrists blocked her from being able to use the force to defend herself. Not like she'd have much chance against someone as powerful as him. Starkiller may have felt more dangerous, but his uncontrolled emotions at least gave her a fighting chance.

          "Tell me it isn't true. Tell me you're not her daughter!" He said suddenly and she stepped back in surprise. She stared at him a moment wondering why it mattered. 

          "It _is_ true. I am her daughter. And I am also yours." She said finally, figuring honesty was probably the best policy. She doubted there'd be anything to gain by denying it. Not that confirming it gave her much hope either. 

          "No." He said angrily. "It can't be true!" She wasn't exactly sure how to respond to his outburst so she stayed quiet. At least whatever was causing him pain about that revelation wasn't being taken out on her at the moment. He turned to look at her again and she swallowed hard. Perhaps she'd spoken too soon. He moved towards her, grabbing her arm and pulling her along with him. She didn't fight him, there was no point. They found Starkiller on the other side of the door as though he'd been eavesdropping. Vader raised his right fist in a ball and immediately Galen started sputtering and gasping for breath. 

          She watched in horror as he used the force to choke the life out of him. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. She was conflicted. After everything Starkiller had done to her, she wasn't exactly sorry to see him punished, even more ironically, by her father. Whom she'd been told would never care about her. Though she knew he wasn't doing it to protect her. But at the same time, the grotesque manner in which his life was being stolen away made her recoil in disgust. His eyes bugged out and he stopped squirming. Vader dropped him. She looked over her shoulder at where he'd fallen; feeling both relieved and horrified. 

          "Look out!" She said as she saw him reach toward Vader. He pulled out his lightsaber and stabbed it through Starkiller's back. He'd momentarily frozen in shock and then his hand dropped to the floor. She blinked slowly, trying to clear the image from her head. Should she have tried to stand up for him? Nothing that Vader had done had been in self-defense. Yet one evil person killing another should be good, right? If she lived through this, she'd ask her mother. Right now though, she kind of wanted to throw up. "What is his story, anyways? How did he end up like this?" She asked trying to distract herself from what she'd just witnessed. 

          "I killed his parents in front of him and then I offered him a choice; become my apprentice or die." He said, pulling her along again. She was sorry she asked. And also sorry that she'd felt the slightest pang of sympathy for Galen Marek. Whatever he'd done since his parents' deaths and to her, seemed almost justified considering the life he'd been forced into. "I sense you had feelings for him." Vader said suddenly and stopped, looking down at her. 

          She glanced back in the direction of his body, again feeling conflicted. They'd been planning a future together. Did it sound cold to say she didn't? But then when he'd showed up that day, dark and cold, any love she might have felt had been replaced by fear and anger. "Well, I thought I did until he came back as that." She started quietly. "And then when he told me that he could manipulate chemistry to make me want him, I'm not sure if anything I felt with him was real." Even though he was wearing a mask, it almost felt as though he was looking down at her like a father might. Which was a foolish thought, he might be her real father, but the idea that he'd immediately fall into a father role was outlandish. But what she'd said had been the truth. She wasn't sure she could trust anything in the way of feelings involving him. She was just glad it was over now. Though confused by how easily he'd killed his own apprentice. Perhaps she should be more concerned about her own life at the moment than whether or not anything she'd experienced with Galen had been real. There had been good things, but all the memories felt tainted now. "The way he touched me though, always felt like he was about to devour a meal." She shuddered uncontrollably at that admission. It was Vader's turn to glance back at Starkiller's corpse. She felt a surge of anger when he did so. She hadn't said that to get him feeling sympathetic or even protective, it had just come out. Like something she needed to release even if no one else cared. 

          "I'm surprised you're not begging for your life." He commented as they made their way to the landing pad.

          "Have you seen my life lately?" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in disgust. "I've spent most of it on the run from you guys. Then some creep shows up and makes me think I can finally let down my guard only to discover, nope, can't. He's evil too. Then I spent the next few months jumping from planet to planet trying to escape him. And the whole time, the only thing he wanted was my mother! Let's be real here, that's just wrong no matter how you look at it." She threw her head back and sighed.

          She got the distinct impression that he had no idea how to respond to that. But seriously, what kind of life was it? Nothing that had been happening to her for most of it was worth begging for. Being trapped here in binders with a man that was supposed to be her father but was likely going to turn her over to the Emperor, really wasn't the worst thing in the world. Which told you everything you needed to know about how things were going lately. It wasn't that she didn't care to live, because she'd very much like to keep breathing, but until things started looking up, why beg for it?

          "Why did he want your mother?" He asked finally.

          "I think he wanted revenge or something. I guess he took her beating the crap out of him, his inquisitors and blowing up the ship, personally. Though he claims destroying her was only to please you. But wait, shouldn't you know all this? He was your apprentice after all."

          "We didn't talk much." He said quietly.

          "Clearly." She replied, looking away. 

          "Ahsoka did all that?" He asked.

          "Yeah. It was pretty epic. He thought he was so clever but he couldn't even keep up. I don't think it ever occurred to him that she'd win. Talk about arrogance. Makes you wonder why he was so desperate for a rematch. She probably would have beat him again. Especially after the games he played with me." She said with pride, standing taller just thinking about her mother's bravery. She wondered what her mother would think about her being here right now with him. She'd probably tell her to stop talking...

          "I should have kept him alive, I would have loved to see them fight." He commented, probably more to himself than to her. Though she almost got the impression that he said that because he wanted to see her win. 

          "Didn't you fight her? You know firsthand how good she is." 

          "I trained her, of course I know how good she is. But I trained him too." He sounded arrogant now. 

          She swallowed the insult that popped into her head. She didn't really expect to have any kind of relationship with him, but it probably wouldn't be a good idea to piss off someone that could kill her before she blinked. 

          "Did she train you?" He asked stopping.

          "No." She replied. "She never wanted me to fight. But for some reason, I keep having to."

          "Then how do you have her lightsabers?"

          "Because someone found them and brought them to me. I think she was upset that I had them, but she never said so."

          He ignited his lightsaber and she flinched, wondering if she'd said something wrong. He cut the binders off her wrists and handed her back the lightsabers. "Fight me." He commanded. She looked up at him nervously. Was he kidding? She'd just told him she didn't know how to fight. She didn't even stand a chance. "Prove to me that you're her daughter."

 _Oh great._ She looked down at the weapons in her hands blankly for a moment. And then she remembered her first duel with Ezra.  _Okay, crystals, mom... show me what to do._  She thought to herself. After talking up her mom's skills, she was afraid she'd embarrass her. But she had been telling the truth; Ahsoka had never trained her. She wasn't even sure what all she could do in the force.

          She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt them pulsing in her hands through the metal casings. She crouched low, spinning them into the reverse grip banking on instinct and remembering how her mom fought the brief time she'd seen her do it. She looked up studying him and narrowed her eyes. He stood there watching her, tall and confident and well... intimidating. But he held his lightsaber up, clearly waiting for her to start the fight. With Ezra, she'd been able to react. But now it felt like they were playing holochess and she had to determine the best move. And she sucked at holochess.

          Without anything to go off of, she really had no idea how to start it. Her instincts seemed to kick in when she was under attack. She moved to start circling him, but he continued to stand there, simply watching her. "How long are you going to make me wait?" He asked finally. 

          "I'm working on it." She huffed, puffing out her chest.  _Come on crystals, give me something_! Well, the only way to get her instincts going she supposed was by starting the fight. She ran forward and ducked under his blow, sweeping low. He dodged easily, bringing his lightsaber down hard above her head. She got one up to block and then managed to twirl under his arm and roll away. Nearly getting tangled in his cape. Well, she'd survived the first round, that was something. Not much, but something.

          If she didn't know better, she was certain he was trying to train her. But why? Why would he want to train his prisoner? She was his daughter, but still... why would he help her? She dropped her hands to her side and looked up at him. 

          "You don't think I'd actually become your apprentice do you?" She asked, frowning at him as she realized that he'd just killed his other one. 

          He shut off his lightsaber and looked at her. "Well you certainly don't fight like her, but you're definitely Ahsoka's daughter." He said. He hadn't acknowledged her question, which only made her assume she'd been correct. But after how he'd said he'd picked up his other one, she was surprised he was accepting her refusal so easily.

          "I'm yours too, you know." She waggled her finger at him and then put her hands on her hips. "Just because I don't know how to fight, doesn't mean you can just disown me." She summoned all her strength and pushed against him with the force, surprised to see him fly backwards into the wall. Well... she meant to do that, but she hadn't actually thought it would work. She'd been certain he'd block it or something. "I'm sorry!" She said, running forward to help him up. He just put up a hand to stop her and started laughing. Though through the helmet it was so distorted it sounded maniacal. 

          "Now that's more like it." He said, finally getting to his feet. "She didn't teach you lightsaber combat, but she taught you the force."

          "Well... yeah." She said, shuffling her feet. She had the urge to tell him about their force bond. She wanted him to know. But she was starting to understand why her mother had kept her away from him. Either she'd been through too much shit lately to care about the danger, or she didn't filter her words because she knew that somewhere inside that suit was her father. And even though, right at this particular moment, he was the enemy, she still wanted to have a relationship with him. But was there any chance he'd want her just as a daughter, not an apprentice? Could he ever look at her and not think about destroying her or her mother?

          His behavior was so weird, it was like he didn't even know what he wanted. He acted like this big tough, evil scary monster, but then he played games with her, sounded almost proud of how her mother turned out, sometimes even protective of her and it didn't make any sense. It was almost like he didn't even realize the good person he'd once been was coming out. Sure, she'd love for him to return to the light. To bring him back to her mother and to Rex and even Luke. But she didn't really hold out hope that would happen so there was no point weighing her words or saying things she thought might win him over. Nearly everything she'd said was just herself reacting to what was going on. Did he know that? Was that why he seemed to let down his guard some? He knew she was no threat? 

          But there'd been something else in there too, she wasn't sure how to explain it. The way he talked about her mother or asked about her, it was almost like there was longing there. But if that were true, why didn't he just go to her? Her mom still loved him, she'd give him another chance. Even if he didn't really deserve it, she just knew she would. 

          She looked up at him, all humor had faded from the air around him. The room had darkened considerably. He must have realized what she was sensing. Suddenly he was the evil overlord again.  Hiding his true needs and desires deep down inside.  And without thinking, she dropped her mother's lightsabers and ran to him. He raised his own like he would strike her, but to her surprise, he didn't actually cut her down as she threw her arms around him. It was awkward to hug him with all the controls and buttons and switches and whatnot, but she did her best to miss them. 

          There was so much she wanted to say to him. So much she'd bottled up for years wishing she could just talk to him. It flooded forth not in words but in tears. He didn't hug her back, nor attempt to comfort her in any way. She hadn't expected him to. She could still feel the heat of his lightsaber near the back of her head. But for the moment, she didn't care. So many years of wanting made her grip him tighter. 

          When she finally exhausted the tears, she dropped to her knees and looked up at him. He stepped back and stared down at her. Probably in disbelief or even hatred. "I won't beg for my life." She said finally. "But I will beg for yours. Take me to your Emperor, so I can." 

          He didn't move, he still seemed frozen in indecision. "Why?" He asked carefully.

          "Because you're my father." She said softly. "Do you know how many years I've longed to know you? Do you know how many dreams I've had about you? My mom made me a doll when I was just a baby. I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be you. I used to talk to it all the time. I took it with me everywhere. I dreamt about it constantly. It was my most prized possession. It was the closest thing I had to my parents. It was of you, made by my mother. She wasn't around as I grew up. She stayed away from me, to protect me. I was raised by someone else. But my mom would come visit me in the force. She told me, I could always find her there. She wouldn't train me to fight, she feared losing me because she thought it meant she'd lose you too. My entire life has been endless drifting from place to place. Always on the move, always on the run. She never knows where I am unless I tell her. And she preferred it that way. The happiest I ever was, was when I found Rex and he would tell me stories about the two of you. When my mom fought you, I thought I lost her. I felt that fight; her longing, her love for you, the fear. She went silent on me for awhile. And then when she fought Starkiller, I thought I lost her again. And I wanted nothing more than to go to you because I guess I thought you'd understand. Rex had told me that you lost your mother around the same age. I foolishly thought I had something to offer you. Maybe healing? But I get it okay, it's too late now. No matter what we are, or even if you despise me, I will never stop believing you deserve a second chance. And I will beg for that."

          He didn't say anything for a long time. Likely processing everything she'd just said. She was starting to think she should have kept her mouth shut. She probably shouldn't have told him any of that. It wasn't like he could just get up and walk away from a lifetime of servitude. "She came to me." He said finally. She looked at him in confusion. "She went silent on you because she came to me. She found a way to enter my subconscious. She was there all the time, meditating. I knew how much it was taking out of her, but she persisted. I raged at her, I tried to get her to stop. To go away. It severely sapped her strength, but she wouldn't give up. It's too late for me. But not for both of you." He stepped forward and grabbed her arm, dragging her to her feet. "You tell her to stop coming to me. To save her strength for you." 

          She opened her mouth but closed it again. Was he trying to protect Ahsoka, or just wanting to be left alone? Either way, she had a hunch that if she dug in just a little deeper, there might be hope for him.  _Mom_! She reached out with the force. Ignoring his hand on her arm that he'd grabbed as he started pulling her towards the landing platform.  _Come to me, mom. Now!_

          And all of a sudden he froze, dropping her arm and she stumbled forward, catching a crate to stop from falling over. Ahead of them stood Ahsoka, glowing white in the hot red and orange surroundings. Her hands were on her lightsabers, but Ashla cried out to her to put them away. They stared at each other, her parents. Once lovers, now enemies. Why had she summoned her mother? She didn't want them to fight, but maybe she'd thought her mom held the last key.

          "He still loves you." She said, running between them. And waving her hands in front of her. "And she still loves you." She said, turning to face him. "Why isn't that enough?" 

          "Is that true?" Ahsoka asked, looking up at him. 

          "Yes." He said finally. The heat was making her a bit dizzy. She fell down on her butt. Everything started moving in slow motion. What was happening? Her mom was by her side in an instant. She felt her head spin as she fell into the force. Something was calling her, she didn't know what it was. And then he was there by her side too. Lifting her into his arms. She barely felt it as he marched her back inside. 

          "I see a woman," she whispered. Her mouth was dry. "Green hair, glowing, powerful." Her head ached. Then she screamed. "And a man. Pale, gray. Dark clothes, red marks on his face. They're fighting. But It didn't end there. The woman left Mortis with my mother. The man, with my father." She blinked rapidly. "Love... is the answer. Balanced by love." 

          "Ashla." She heard her mom's voice. She sounded so far away. "Let it go. Whatever you're seeing, let it go."

          She shook her head, trying to clear the vision. She looked around disoriented. "But..." she said, her vision still blurry. 

          "Let go." Her mom said again. She let her head fall back, surprised it didn't hit the floor and then she broke out of the vision and found herself staring at the plain black ceiling of Vader's fortress. Her eyes burned with tears. She felt her mom's hands on her face and tipped her head back to see her looking down at her. Like she used to lay across her lap when she was a child. 

          "What happened?" She asked nervously. The vision was fading, and she had no idea how they got here. 

"You opened yourself up too much to the force." Her mom answered softly, running her fingers through her hair. "If you're not careful or controlled when you reach into it, you can find too much and it will overwhelm you."

          "Did anything I say make sense?" She asked, trying to remember it.

          "Shh." Her mom said instead. "Rest." 

          "But... Dad..." 

          "Rest." Ahsoka said, setting her hand on her forehead. Her eyes drooped and she was out before she knew it.


	2. Chapter 2

          Vader returned to find Ahsoka kneeling with her daughter's head in her lap. He studied her from the doorway. There was such a deep sorrow etched across her face as she looked down at the girl. She ran her fingers through her hair so tenderly, it reminded him of when she'd once touched him that way. As much as he had loved Padmé, he found himself almost wishing he could go back in time and start over with Ahsoka. 

          She'd barely been a teenager when he first met her, but she'd blossomed into a stunningly beautiful woman. And that wasn't just a comment about her good looks. It was hard to believe that the sassy, pain in the neck she'd been had turned into such a loving and deep soul. Although, now that he thought about it, she'd always been that way, perhaps just unrestrained. She still had her fire, there was no doubt about that, but it was different now. It didn't come out in taunts or uncontrolled emotions or even witty nicknames and catch phrases. Instead it was in her eyes; determination, power, acceptance. 

          And she was definitely powerful. She'd danced around Starkiller like he was just learning to wield his weapons. Someone he'd been training in the dark side from even a younger age than he'd started with her. He didn't have to see it to imagine how that fight had gone down. She'd restrained that power when she'd fought him, because she hadn't wanted to kill him. He'd assumed she was weak. But now as he watched her as though her entire life had been nothing but suffering; weak wasn't even a word that crossed his brain when trying to describe her. But it wasn't her power in combat that surprised him, she'd always been powerful that way. No, it was whatever power in the force that she was using to be here right now and before when she'd come to him as her younger self. And how she managed to get into his very head and soul. When he knew the real version of her was elsewhere. But the vision in front of him was as physical and tangible as if she was really sitting there. It made him wonder what else she could do. 

          She looked up at him suddenly, the slightest echo of tears on her face. "Why is she here?" She demanded. 

          "My apprentice brought her to me." He said simply. 

          "How did he find her?"

          "I don't know. She said something about just when she thought she could let down her guard, he was evil too." He replied.

          "Galen was Starkiller?" She asked in surprise, anger darkening her features. "I will kill him." She muttered vehemently. 

          "You don’t have to, I already did." 

          "What? Why?" She looked up at him in confusion. 

          "Because he overheard her tell me I was her father. And that's information I can't have just anyone possessing, especially someone that can use it against me." He put his hands on his hips and paced back and forth. He noticed that her eyes followed him warily. "I certainly can't have the Emperor knowing that."

          "He already knows about her." Ahsoka whispered, running her fingers across her daughter's cheek. "He knew I was pregnant before I left the order. I don't know how he knew, but he did. I'd told no one. So he must have sensed it. Didn't you think it odd that I was to be put to death, even if I  _had_  committed those crimes?"

          "I never really thought about it." He replied. He saw her eyes burn again for a moment. And he found himself almost fearing  _her_  wrath.

          "Well I did, a million times over. I wondered why. It wasn't until much later on that I figured it out. I thought she was in danger only because her parents had both been Jedi and she'd be force sensitive herself. But no, she was in danger before order 66. And it wasn't because of me. It was because of you."

          "Why because of me? I didn't even know she existed!" He exclaimed.

          "You can't tell me you don't really know how much the chancellor was manipulating!" She said. "He used all of us against you, to turn you into this!" She gestured up at him. "And you, like a knucklehead, believed him over us." She rolled her eyes.

          "He was my friend!" He said angrily, balling up his mechanical fists.

          "And what were we? Strangers?" She asked sarcastically. "You know what? Nevermind. Maybe we  _were_  strangers. It's clear I didn't know you at all." Her words stung far deeper than he'd expected. She went back to tending her daughter.

          She wasn't a stranger to him, but she was right, he probably was to her. There was so much about his life he'd told no one, or very few people for that matter. Sometimes he'd see his reflection and think he didn't even know himself. 

 _This girl believes I deserve a second chance_ , he thought to himself and to the force.  _Any chance that would count for something in whether or not to give me one?_  He begged the force.  _I want to start over._   _I want them back, especially Ahsoka._

          When he opened his eyes he was still standing there, in the dark fortress suspended above lava on a forsaken and evil planet. Ahsoka was still there, cradling their daughter's head. He bowed his head in regret. 

          "Do you think it's true what she said? That the Son and Daughter escaped Mortis inside us?" He asked after awhile. 

          "I know the Daughter did, so it's feasible he did too." She replied stiffly, without looking up. 

          "You know the Daughter did? How?" He was surprised.

          "She's been following me around for years, haunting my dreams. She led me into your subconscious, to find a spot you'd see me. When were you going to tell me I died on Mortis?" She accused, looking up finally. "That an incredibly powerful force user bonded with me in order to bring me back to life? Seems like the kind of information that would have been helpful to know!"

          "Because I was afraid." He said. 

          "Of me?"

          "Of what happened. I thought I'd lost you, I didn't know what to do. All that mattered to me after that ritual was that you were alive. That you were with me again. I wanted to forget about all of it. But I couldn't. For months I relived your death. Do you know how many times I stood outside your door, reaching into the force to make sure you were still breathing after that? It still haunts me, all of it. The way the Son grabbed you right from under me. The way he turned you into something else. Your lifeless body... then what happened? A few months later you were kidnapped and I couldn't find you anywhere. Do you know what that's like?" He asked in frustration. 

          "Yes." She said without hesitation. "I've lived it everyday for twenty years. Only double. You  _and_  her." She said, gesturing to her daughter.  _Their daughter._  It was still hard to believe the truth. He felt guilt crawl up his throat. She knew better than anyone what that was like, the fear of loss, the lack of closure, the helplessness.

          He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Feeling miserable and hating everything right now. "Is she going to be okay?" He asked, looking down at their daughter for really the first time since Starkiller had told him who she was. She'd been so unexpected, so different. And yet, so much like Ahsoka, the test he'd presented her with had been pointless. He'd already known. But finding out Ahsoka had a child had both infuriated him and terrified him. It couldn't be his, but yet, how dare she have a child with someone else? And then the girl had confirmed his fear, she was his too. 

          He'd tried to treat her like any other prisoner. He'd tried to ignore who she belonged to in favor of his duties to the Emperor. But everything about her had been completely backwards from what he'd expected. She hadn't cowered, not once. Not even in the face of the execution of his apprentice, or during their fight. He'd assumed she'd inherited Ahsoka's fearlessness, but as he'd studied her in the force, she'd been very much afraid. Her choice of words and how she responded to things, could be construed to try and manipulate him into returning to the light, and yet, he'd sensed no deception in her. Her behavior was both spontaneous and controlled. As though everything she'd spoken and done had been earnest. 

          The way she'd responded to Starkiller's death had been shocking. He'd felt her recoil and yet, she'd warned him that he hadn't finished him off. He'd sensed feelings from her for him; sympathy and yet apathy. She'd relaxed considerably after he'd killed him, as though Starkiller had frightened her far more than he did. The way she'd waggled her finger at him and put her hands on her hips had been like staring at a living memory of his former padawan. And then the way she'd dropped her weapons to hug him, the way she'd held onto him for dear life. It wasn't to win him over, it was because  _she'd_  needed to hold him, even if it cost her life. She carried a certain acceptance in herself, that this was just the way it was and there was no point in trying to change it. And by accepting it, she no longer feared it, at least not in a debilitating way. She was like Ahsoka the most, in that way. She'd take whatever life threw at her and continue on. 

          And the way she'd spoken, of her life growing up, or not having her mother and why. She'd never once condemned him even if she thought him responsible. She genuinely believed he deserved a second chance. But why?

          "I think so." Ahsoka said quietly. "Assuming she's safe with you."

          "I have no intention of hurting her." He said, surprised by the honesty of that statement. He wanted this girl to live. Not because of who she belonged to, but because... he loved her. He really did. Just like he still loved her mother. He looked up at Ahsoka's face. Wishing for nothing more at that moment than to take it in his hands and kiss away her pain. 

          "You won't try to turn her?" She asked. 

          "She already told me I couldn't." He tried to laugh, but Ahsoka just raised her brow. "I will protect her with my life." He said quieter and in all seriousness. Ahsoka looked doubtful as though she had no reason to trust him. Which was true, he'd given her no reason to. He sincerely hoped he could change that, since it was clear there was no starting over. He straightened suddenly, at the same time, her eyes had snapped to the door. "The Emperor is here." He cursed under his breath. Great, just what he needed. He'd been so focused on Ahsoka and their daughter, he'd not sensed his presence soon enough for them to escape. 

          He hurried to where they sat and scooped Ashla up into his arms, grateful she was light. 

          "Follow me!" He said, racing towards his air chamber as likely the best hiding place for them. Ahsoka was right on his heels. He set Ashla down on the bed, as gently as he could. "Stay here and try to hide yourselves in the force." He said, stepping out and closing the chamber behind him. 


	3. Chapter 3

           "Ashla," she heard her mother whisper. "Wake up!" Her hands were on her shoulders, shaking her. She blinked a few times, looking around. The stark whiteness of the room they seemed to be in contrasted with the darkness of the last place she remembered. Was she in a medical bay? She stretched and rubbed her eyes as her mom came into focus. The expression on her face made her suddenly alert. 

           "What's going on? Where are we?" She asked confused.

           "You want to learn how to fight, then listen carefully. Lightsaber training 101." Her mother said, handing her the lightsabers she'd dropped awhile back. Things must be really bad if her mom was going to show her how to fight. "This is a block, this is a strike. Don't get hit by lightning. And if you can't remember that, trust your instincts!" Her mom said hurriedly as she showed her only two moves. "Come on."

           She was on her feet as she watched her mom press a button and the whole room lifted apart as though they were cracking an egg. She barely had time to register what was happening before she watched her mom race forward, her white lightsabers ignited. She saw her dad crumpled on the floor to the side, groping at what looked like a horrible wound in his side. 

           An evil and dark presence stood over him, hissing as though he was a snake. Two red lightsabers held in his wrinkly hands. His head obscured by a dark cloak. She watched him turn and send lightning at her mother, who had ducked under it, spun to the side and started fighting him. She was faster and more intense than she'd been when she fought Starkiller and it took her a moment to realize why. Her mom was no longer playing games, this was life or death. Everything she cared about was in danger in this room and her focus could not be wavered. 

           Ashla hesitated, unsure of really how to help. This was the Emperor and she felt like she'd missed a lot. The last thing she really remembered was trying to stop her parents from fighting each other and now they were on the same side, fighting the most evil person in the galaxy. And her mom really expected that brief training session to be enough against him?

           She started inching her way towards her father figuring she'd be more useful there than in the fight. But then she saw him throw her mother back and turn on her.  _Uh block, strike, oh brother,_ she tried to calm down and ignited the lightsabers, just barely in time to block the stream of lightning he threw at her. But he was far too strong and was easily overpowering her. 

           "Now isn't this lovely." He drawled from beneath his cloak. "A family reunion. Too bad it will be short lived!" He snarled and pushed more into her. She gritted her teeth, pushing back with everything she had. He was forced to release though as Ahsoka leapt back into the fight and was engaging all of his attention again. She ran to her father's side, he was just barely conscious, but there wasn't much she could do for him at the moment. 

           "Look out!" He sputtered as she spun around in time to see the Emperor bearing down on her again. Vader attempted to push him back with the force, but he shielded the attempt which threw her father back instead. 

           "Once the three of you are dead, nothing will oppose me!" He shouted. "I knew you were dangerous, child. Before you were even born. Your existence has cost me my apprentice and now you will pay!" 

           She looked at him in confusion. "I have no idea what you're talking about!" She said, managing to block several strikes and trying to distance herself from him. 

           "His compassion for your mother, and now for you, has weakened him. And I have no choice but to end him." He replied, putting more strength behind his blows. She dodged and twirled, unable to get even a single strike at him. Amazed she was even managing to keep him at bay this long.

           "Compassion  _is_  a weakness." Her mother said from his other side and he turned to face her. Ashla peeked around him to see her standing tall, a white light emulated behind her from the chamber they'd been in. She looked like she glowed. As though an angel. "But love is always worth fighting for." She finished. 

           The Emperor leapt at her, with such force, Ashla was certain her mom would not get out of the way in time. "No!" She screamed, feeling the force twirl around her in such raw power, she felt everything go dark for a moment. The ground shook as though the whole building was the hide of a drum. The sounds of creaking and twisting metal filled the air. Instinct had opened her to the force again, and the building quaked in response. 

           Cracks appeared all around her, splitting the darkness with red and orange as the lava below was now visible in the room. The last thing she saw as she fell was the Emperor stumble and her mom cutting off his head. 

           "Hurry!" She barely heard her father rasp. She felt weightless for a moment. She couldn't react as chunks of rubble fell all around them. "Follow me!" 

           The scenery changed, the building gave way to open sky. Then a ship. Sounds were both amplified and muted as it felt like the world was falling around her. She heard him shout frantically for her mother, but in this heightened state of awareness she knew her mother was gone. 

           "We have to go!" She breathed, stumbling forward from where he'd put her down. Reaching for the control panel.

           "But Ahsoka!" He exclaimed in fear.

           "She's gone." She replied. "She's already gone." She fell into the copilot seat unable to hold herself up any longer. He hesitated just a moment longer and then lifted them off just as the rest of the fortress collapsed into a fiery death. 

           Her head fell back into the chair, a splitting headache raced through her brain as she floated there in a semi-conscious state for a moment before she was finally able to start closing down the gaping hole. The stars streaked by as he jumped to hyperspace. 

           “What do you mean, gone?” She felt his fear, his pain. Like a raw cut across their senses. She wanted to reach to him, but her arms felt like they weighed a ton. She drifted fitfully into visions and feelings, struggling to gain control of the force and her senses again. 

           It felt like things were shutting down around her. And she vaguely became aware of her father's increasingly labored breathing. He was dying. His suit had stopped working completely. She panicked, which managed to pull her out of the drowsy state enough to land the ship after it beeped its arrival. She called out for her mother, but she got no answer. 

           She ran down the ramp, expecting her to help but found her unconscious on the ground. She'd apparently used too much energy to stay there so long, but at least she was alive. If she didn't act fast though, she wouldn't be able to say the same for her father. 

           She raced back up into the ship and dragged him with all her might, down to where her mother was. Then she went back for oxygen and supplies. She tried not to think about what could happen and focused everything she had left into fixing his suit. She fumbled with the helmet, ripping it off and putting the oxygen mask over his face. 

           She knelt there for what seemed like hours, letting her fingers guide what needed to be done. She'd never performed such an intensive repair, but she pushed aside the doubts. Repeating to herself that she had to save him.

           Taking apart his suit had been far more complex than even she'd assumed. So much wiring and so many buttons and pieces. Some that attached to his body and others that wrapped around it. She got the neck piece off and eventually the belt and chest piece, ignoring the ugly skin underneath, she forced her mind to focus on what she was doing as though she was fixing a complicated machine. The state of his body and the number of mechanical parts attached to it, made it easy to believe he was a machine she could repair. 

           She didn't look up as another ship landed but was grateful the moment it appeared. The last piece she needed to finish her upgrade and repair was unique to it. "Can't talk, need a piece off your ship!" She exclaimed, running past Luke and Artoo as she opened the underpanel of his x-wing fighter and started taking it apart.

           "Ashla?" He asked in surprise. As he watched her dumbfounded. "What's going on?"

           "Save him now, explain later." Was all she managed as she pulled off the last piece and ran back towards where Vader was laying. 

           Luke and Artoo followed her back and he knelt down on the other side. "My father?" He whispered in surprise. 

           " _Our_  father." She said grabbing his hand and setting it on a part to hold it in place as she snapped the piece she'd stolen from his fighter into place. 

           "What?" He asked. 

           "Not now. Focusing!" She said in annoyance.

           Artoo beeped something and came forward and started soldering the pieces together around Luke's hand. She pointed to a couple other places and he happily assisted sealing those spots as well.

           After what had seemed like ages, she finally sat back on her heels feeling exhausted. She'd done everything she could for now. The plate she'd attached to his chest should keep his lungs from collapsing without the suit and helmet. Any controls needed for the other parts were now wired into it. She wasn't a surgeon, but she'd managed to patch up the wound in his side from the Emperor. She took off the oxygen mask, holding her hand near his face to make sure he was breathing on his own. 

           "He seems stable." Luke said, looking down at him. Artoo beeped that he'd scanned him and he seemed fine for now.

           She looked across at Luke and nearly melted into tears. That had been the most terrifying ordeal she'd ever been through in her life. He seemed to sense her state of near hysterics and he got to his feet and helped her up. Looking at her reassuringly with his soft blue eyes. 

           He wrapped his arms around her and let her fall apart in them. "So you're my sister?" He asked finally. 

           "Half-sister." She coughed, but didn't pull away. 

           "And you just saved our father?"

           "I hope so," she tried to laugh nervously. Turning her head so she could look at the aftermath. Parts and pieces were scattered all around him. But she could see his chest rise and fall, his breathing not as labored as it had been in his suit. Then she glanced at her mother who was also breathing, but still unconscious. She was really glad Luke was here right now. 

           "What happened?" He asked quietly. "I felt something, but I admit, this was not at all what I'd expected to find."

           They sat down side by side on a nearby rock as she regaled him with everything she could remember starting from Starkiller taking her to Vader's castle. Luke listened thoughtfully to her story, nodding here or there and seemed deep in thought when she finally finished. She leaned against his shoulder feeling as though she'd pass out from exhaustion herself.

           "The Emperor is dead then? That's good news." He said. "And it looks like there's hope for our father. And this Starkiller is also dead. This is a huge victory for the rebellion." He commented finally.

           She nodded numbly. Yeah, for the rebellion. All she'd cared about was her parents getting out of there alive. Which they had, somehow. She was worried about what had come over her though, she was pretty sure she'd been the reason the building had ripped apart and collapsed into the lava. She hadn't told Luke about that though, she was too scared of what it could mean. Had she been consumed by the dark side for a moment? Her mom had said if she opened herself too much to the force, she could find things she wasn't ready for. Could she also find evil things? There'd certainly been plenty of dark side energy to draw on there. 

           "So..." he said after awhile. "Is that your mother?"

           "Yes." She said. "Ahsoka Tano. She was his padawan during the Clone Wars. From what I understand, one night it went too far. And poof, here I am." She tried to laugh but was too drained. "But, he really loved your mother, you know. Please don't hate him for it."

           "How can I hate him? I got a sister out of it." He said sweetly. She smiled. "How long have you known we were related?" 

           "She told me a few months after I met you on Tatooine. Apparently when I told her your name, she decided to come clean. She didn't want me to tell you though, she wanted you to have a chance to make up your own mind about your parents. She said your mother had been a good friend of hers too, and she'd been forced to live with the guilt of it all this time." 

           "I don't know anything about my mother." He said quietly. "Everything I've learned has been about him." 

           She patted his hand. "Artoo," she called the little droid over. "You were his droid weren't you? I didn't realize it before. I'm sorry I threatened you." 

           The astromech beeped a few times. "He says, no. He was my mother's droid first." Luke translated.

           "Oh, well, even better. Surely in your memory banks are some clips of her? I'd like to see them too."

           Artoo projected a series of clips for them and they sat there together, watching memories of all their parents. Talking and laughing until she felt herself getting droopy again.


	4. Chapter 4

           Ahsoka stirred finally, feeling sore and heavy. She'd pushed herself too hard this time. She had no idea how much time had passed, but it was dark out now. She fumbled around for awhile trying to pull herself together and nearly screamed when her hands fell on Vader's mask. 

           She glanced to the side and saw him laying there; pieces of his suit and tools strewn all over. She crawled towards him and inspected his body. He was breathing. His skin was heavily scarred and there was now a giant rectangular metal plate that seemed fused to his skin, starting just beneath his shoulder blades and ending below his diaphragm. It was about half an inch thick and there were wires that went out from it to all four limbs. His helmet was off, along with the neck piece. The control panel that had been on his chest was gone, along with the things on his belt. She ran her fingers down the side of his face, relieved to see him out of the suit. 

           She looked up to see her daughter, leaning against, who she could only assume to be Luke. When had he gotten here? Had Ashla called him? She stood up and heard Artoo beep and she made her way towards him to greet him. "Hello Artooie, what did I miss?"

           He beeped and whirred for a few minutes. Describing what he'd witnessed since their arrival. According to him, their daughter had been in a mad state trying to fix Anakin and save him. And she'd stolen a part off Luke's fighter to do so. She almost laughed, picturing it. She picked up Vader's cloak and threw it around Luke and Ashla's shoulders and then moved the pieces enough to light a fire near Anakin. 

           She sat there for a few minutes, stoking it. Trying to relax. She'd had no idea what to expect when she'd heard her daughter's call. And now they were all on the moon she'd been stranded on for awhile. The Emperor was dead, so was Starkiller. Anakin was here, she hoped... it certainly seemed as though Ashla had found the key to breaking him out. She was almost sorry she'd not sent her to him sooner. She'd been so certain that he wouldn't accept her, and him finding out the truth would endanger her far too much. But somehow she'd ended up in his lap anyways. And his heart. 

           And now Luke was here. And according to Artoo, he knew the truth. He even seemed to have accepted it pretty well too. At least him and Ashla seemed close anyways. She wasn't yet sure how she felt about all of that. 

           He sat up a few minutes later, groaning in pain. He looked around confused but smiled when he saw her sitting there. But then his hands flew to his head and his eyes widened as he looked down at his body. 

           "My suit is gone, but I can breathe without it?" He asked in surprise and then knocked on the metal plate on his chest. "What is this?"

           "Your daughter's handiwork." Ahsoka replied, pulling her legs up. He looked at her blankly.

           "Is she a doctor?" He asked.

           "No, but she is the best mechanic in the galaxy. Rivaling even you." She couldn't help the pride she felt at the knowledge that her daughter had been able to transform his necessary electronics into something that freed him from that horrible suit. 

           "Holy..." he muttered, trailing off. "Are you alright?" He asked, making his way around the fire to her. 

           "I'm tired, but I'll live." She whispered. 

           He put one hand on her knee. "I forgot you were a vision. I panicked when I got to the ship and you weren't still behind me. I thought I lost you.  _Again_..." he breathed. 

           She looked at him, his eyes weren't the gold she last remembered, they were blue again. She felt her heart clench. She was grateful he was back, it was what she'd been fighting for since she first found out he was still alive. But he made it seem like everything was so normal, when it wasn't at all. None of this was normal. "Apparently I had overstayed my welcome." She replied. "Thank you for protecting her." 

           "It was instinct I guess. I didn't really think about it. I just had to get her out of there. But Ahsoka, what happened? I've never seen that kind of raw power before. She'd told me she didn't know how to fight, but her power in the force... I've never seen anything like it." He said. 

           "I don't know. Apparently she's stronger than I realized. I suppose it shouldn't surprise me. The daughter of the chosen one."

           "And another powerful force user. Don't discount yourself in that equation." He replied almost sternly. "I think we have a lot to catch up on." He stood up and reached out his hand. She took it and he helped her to her feet. They went up the small incline into the nearby cave. "I'm sorry, Ahsoka. I loved Padmé, but I still wanted you. I still want you." He said, reaching out and brushing the metal fingers along her cheek. 

           She blinked slowly and looked up at him. "I'm a package deal, now."

           "I want her too, but right now, I only want you." He breathed, his voice husky. She closed her eyes, remembering the way it had been so long ago. Could she open up to him again? He stepped closer. "Can we start over?"

           "No." She said quietly. He looked instantly disappointed. "But we can go from here." As painful as the last twenty years had been. She didn't want to pretend none of it had happened. Their relationship, they both, had been irrevocably changed by everything. They couldn't go back now. But there was still love there, despite everything. And she truly believed, that was enough to carry them through it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a time skip here: they as a family, helped the rebellion destroy the second death star and then Anakin went on a solo pilgrimmage to Naboo. Some stuff happened there that changed his perspective on what he was doing with his life including an interaction with Obi Wan as a force ghost. He then decides to return to Ahsoka and Ashla and asks Ashla to accompany him to Tatooine to make peace with his oldest scars. Ahsoka meets up with them later and he takes her for the final leg of the journey.

            Anakin returned, slipping inside his daughter's quarters. She tossed and turned in a fitful sleep. Apparently she'd also inherited his nightmares. He supposed that's what a dark side taint did to you. And it was time to face it; he'd been tainted long before he'd sworn his allegiance to a Sith Lord. The quiet death he'd tried to achieve on Naboo was probably more than he deserved. And she, though she did not seem dark in the least, had, he was certain, tapped into the darkness out of fear.

            "Ashla." He whispered, gently shaking her on the shoulder.

            "Dad?" She murmured, rolling over and sitting up.

            "On Mustafar you'd said you thought you had something to offer me, maybe healing?" He asked.

            "Well, I don't know. I'm a firm believer in talking through your problems, but maybe that's because that's the relationship I had with mom. We talked about everything."

            "She must not have told you everything about me then, I'm not good at that." He replied, smiling sadly.

            "It's not too late to change that, you know?" She said with a soft laugh. She was so much like Ahsoka sometimes it scared him. He’d barely been able to handle one of them, let alone two.

            "You're probably right." He breathed, looking down at his mechanical hands in his lap. "I came to ask if you wanted to come with me to Tatooine?"

            She nodded right away. "Can I tell mom that I'm going with you?"

            "Probably a good idea." He answered. He was scared about opening up so much to this child, well she wasn't a child anymore, instead of someone he already knew. Normally, he'd have chosen to take Ahsoka. He was certain she'd have come along just as willingly, but all he'd been able to think about since he left Naboo was how his daughter had begged for his life. And seeing the same dark taint in her, that he'd carried for many years, made him sure that she was the one he needed to walk this journey with. If he survived it, then he could think about opening up to her mother. Besides, Obi wan had said this was his second chance, and Ashla had been the most convinced he deserved it.

 

\---

 

            “So what’s on Tatooine?” she asked finally after they were well on their way. He’d been staring blankly at the stars streaking by through the transparisteel glass in front of them. He feared what was coming, this was not a willing choice in his mind, simply a must. The only way he could have a chance at healing was to face the demons he’d never been willing to before. And they hadn’t all been the Emperor. He’d used the darkness that had already lived in him, and manipulated it for his own gain.

            “Where it all started.” He breathed with a deep sigh and glanced over at her. Ever since he’d met her, she’d seemed to have this kind of glow about her, as if she was made of light. Maybe it was her optimism, maybe her personality, maybe even her smile, or the twinkle in her blue eyes. She looked more like him, being human and all, but when he looked at her, all he could see was Ahsoka. The name her mother had chosen for her was perfect.  _Light_. She was definitely that, even with the taint. Maybe physically, she looked like he once had, but her attitude was all from her mother. He certainly couldn’t remember a time he’d been so optimistic about anything. That wasn’t true, he’d supposed, the last time he’d really felt it was when he’d found out he could escape slavery and become a Jedi. But his excitement had been short lived when faced with the reality of what it had meant.

            She reached out and took one of his mechanical hands in her own. He felt like he could melt right there. He was grateful for the touch, but he felt far too undeserving of such tenderness. But this was supposed to be a healing journey, and he needed to stop blocking that love that could help him heal. He swallowed the lump in his throat and stared ahead again.  _Love won’t save you, Padmé. Only my new powers can do that._  He’d been so wrong… so wrong about everything. His new powers had done nothing to save her, if anything, they’d destroyed her. And love… love  _was_  enough. If only he’d realized it sooner. But then again, if he had… he wouldn’t be sitting here with Ashla. In fact, he never would have known she existed. And that would have been tragic too. Would he ever be able to weigh the two different paths, knowing what he did now?

            “When I made you fight me on Mustafar, I didn’t need proof you were Ahsoka’s daughter, I already knew.” He said after awhile.

            “Yeah, I figured that out. You were trying to work it out in your head.” She laughed. “I can’t say I’m surprised, finding out about me was probably a bombshell.”

            “As someone that has lived through a lot of those, that’s an understatement.” He replied, smiling to himself. “Finding out about Luke, and of course now Leia, was crazy enough, and I had  _known_  Padmé was pregnant. Ahsoka, I’d had no idea. She hid it extremely well. Though I can’t say I blame her, she made the right choice protecting you from me.”

            She turned in the seat, looking at him intensely. “She didn’t keep me a secret because she was scared _you’d_  hurt me. She was scared of the Emperor and scared of losing what she believed to be the last piece  _of_  you that she had. And she didn’t tell you before it all went down, because she thought it would hurt you. So stop thinking that we perceived you as the monster, because that’s not how it was at all. Whatever you did, so what? Everything she’d done was because she loved you.” She sighed, slumping her shoulders. “And you know what? Maybe my life wasn’t always so great growing up. Maybe I kept wishing things were different, that you both could be there, but I understood what she was doing. I knew it was out of love, for me and for you. And I don’t resent her for that. I can’t imagine having to make the choices she did, they weren’t easy. But if I sit around and I think of all the things that I believe  _should have_  happened, I lose sight of the good things I  _did_  have. And then it starts to blind me to the things I have now.”

            He chewed on his lip as he mulled over her words.  _Love_. It all kept coming back to that. All these people around him insisting they loved him. But why was that so hard to believe? Why had he never believed it? What was it that Ahsoka had said when she’d appeared to him as her younger self on his ship?  _You don’t know how to love. You’ve never known how!_ He cringed internally as he remembered her words.  _Love is everywhere. You just have to stop expecting perfection. They all loved you, in the way they knew how_. He brought his hand up and covered his eyes, grateful he couldn’t really cry anymore. Though the dry tears were almost more painful. It felt like his heart was weeping as it struggled to beat.

            Ashla was right, just like Ahsoka had been. And Obi wan, and Padmé… all of them. He’d been so convinced he was right and they all were wrong. But the reality was, it was the other way around. He’d had a dozen people, at least, in front of him showing love and he’d believed the one person in his life that didn’t even know what love was. And neither did he, apparently.

            “No amount of forgiveness from others will mean anything, until you forgive yourself.” Ashla said sagely. He looked up at her. She wasn’t looking at him, she was looking straight ahead. There was a hint of a tear in the corner of her eye. Was she crying because she felt his pain, or living her own? He hated being so vulnerable in front of her. Part of him was sorry he’d asked her to come along, but he was also really grateful she was here.

 

\---

 

            “I always hated this planet.” He commented as he and Ashla weaved the busy streets of Mos Espa, dodging speeders, banthas and merchants.

            She hung close to him, looking up with her big blue eyes. “Why?” she asked curiously. They hadn’t talked much the rest of the way to Tatooine. She’d seemed to realize he had a lot in his brain he needed to work through. He wondered if she’d figured out why he’d asked her along yet. She’d not said anything that indicated that she had, but she seemed happy to be here with him.

            “A lot of bad memories.” He said finally. They stopped across the street from a small junk shop. He felt her take his arm and he tried to smile. But then he saw the old Toydarian flutter outside and he felt his chest tighten. “Watto.” He breathed with resentment.

            “The Toydarian junk dealer?” she asked surprised.

            “How do you know him?” he glanced at her.

            “He sold my uncle a faulty alluvial damper, years ago. I only remember him because that was the day I met Luke here.” She replied.

            “Did Luke work for him?” he asked, trying to resist the urge to curl his fingers into a fist.

            “No of course not, he just became part of the memory, I guess. Luke was buying parts for a power converter when I bumped into him.” She said. He took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. “Who is this Watto to you?”

            “He was my master.” He said through clenched teeth. Would she say it? Would she say the word he so resented?

            “Oh.” She said instead. He waited a moment, expecting the rest of it to come. But she didn’t utter it. And he realized just how grateful he was about that. Had she known he’d been a slave? Both Rex and Ahsoka had known, surely she’d been told. But if she did, she said nothing about it. He felt a surprising amount of understanding in that one tiny word. He also felt something else from her, like fear. Did she think he’d come here to kill him?

            He watched Watto putter around. He’d gotten old, very old. The years had not been kind to him. As far as he was concerned however, that was what he deserved for owning slaves. Before he could stop her, Ashla let go of him and went across the street to talk to him. She started talking to him casually, as though it was just a nice stranger she’d met in the street. He swallowed hard as they talked. Unable to will himself to join them. But he smiled at her spunk, whatever she was saying to him had a punch to it. Watto seemed conflicted on how to respond to her.

            “If you’re not here to buy, move along.” He heard Watto say as he moved closer.

            “But you knew my father.” She said, putting her hands on her hips.

            “I know no one.” He said indignantly. “Now go away.”

            He was about to pull on her arm, when he saw her pick up the machine Watto had been working on. “My father is Anakin Skywalker.” She said quietly.

            “Little Ani?” the junk dealer said before he could stop himself.

            “And you owe him an apology.” She said, not necessarily with a threat, but it was laced with a hint of one.

            Watto turned to see him standing there and fluttered backwards in surprise. “Ani?” he asked nervously, looking shiftily towards the door to his shop as though he meant to escape. “I’m sorry. I’m very sorry.” He said quickly. “Don’t hurt me.”

            Ashla stepped forward, putting her hands up to try and calm him, but he flinched. And to Anakin’s surprise, he almost felt sorry for him. “We didn’t come to hurt you.” She said calmly. “Just to talk.”

            “I don’t know anything!” he exclaimed.

            “I’m not going to hurt you,” Anakin said in Huttese. Watto stopped trying to flee. Finally the junk dealer nodded and led them inside.

            “I have nothing to offer you, so what do you want?” he asked once they were inside. Anakin watched Ashla wander around, looking over all the junk with a surprising amount of interest.

            “I told you,” she said softly. “Just an apology. A sincere one.”

            “Losing you and later your mother cost me everything.” Watto said finally. “And it wasn’t because of the value of having slaves. I never should have made that deal with the Jedi.” Anakin looked up at him trying not to let anger overwhelm him at how callously he talked about the situation.

            “Owning other people is despicable!” Ashla said suddenly. Watto looked over at her in surprise.

            “Until I purchased you and your mother, I was the only one around here that didn’t!” he said indignantly. But looked at him pleadingly.

            “Just because it’s normal, doesn’t mean it’s right!” his daughter exclaimed. He raised an eyebrow at her. Surprised himself, how passionate she was about this.

            “I never owned another after you two.” Watto said, cowering.  “I tried to treat you as well as I could. I wasn’t perfect, but I tried to be a good master.”

            Ashla looked up at him and he nodded at her. “You were.” He said finally. Sinking down on a nearby stool. “I could have had it so much worse.” He brought his hand up to his face. “Living like that though, as though you’re not even a person. The helplessness, the fear… It’s horrible.”

            “Follow me.” Watto said after a few minutes. They glanced at each other and followed him around back to a small shed.

            “The podracer!” Anakin said in surprise as soon as Watto opened the door. He looked it over, surprised to see it still in the same condition he’d left it in. As though no one else had touched it since.

            “You can have it if you want.” The junk dealer said. “I kept it all this time because it was my only claim to fame and fortune. But as you can see, all of that has faded now. I can’t even take credit for it. You built it, with parts you found around. I had nothing to do with it.”

            Anakin watched Ashla circle it, running her hand across it almost in reverence. At least she could appreciate a good machine when she saw one. “Do you want to take it for a whirl?” he asked her and she looked up excitedly.

            “Can I?”

            “If it still runs, go for it.” Watto said.

            He felt her sink into the force, running her senses over it. “It could use a tune up.” She said with a laugh. “But I think I can get it to start.”

 

\---

 

            They made their way to the track, the podracer in tow. Podracing had been the only real solace he’d had growing up. It had been his one escape from the horrible life he’d been forced into. Watto had talked incessantly all the way there of his wheeling and dealings since that fateful day so many years before when a well-placed bet had won his freedom. But not, of course, his mother’s. After that, he’d been whisked off to a war and a new life that had been strangely similar to his old one, only more exciting. One bondage of servitude into another.

            He was oddly looking forward to seeing Ashla take it out. After the way she’d flown his tie fighter, the pod would be nothing to her. There was a certain high that came from the risk, and though he knew Ahsoka would disapprove of his encouragement, what harm would a little fun be? It’s not like he was actually going to enter her in a race. She was going to run an empty track.

            “Watch out for Sand People when you go through the valley.” He warned her. “They like to hunker down on ridges and shoot anything that moves. And on turn five, it’s a tight left, so release the throttle and drift into it.”

            “I got it, dad!” she said, rolling her eyes.

            He stepped up to her as she put the goggles over her eyes. “Please be careful. Podracing is no joke.”

            She grinned up at him, “Don’t worry.” Yeah, right.  _Don’t worry_. Famous last words. He had plenty of reason to worry, and it wasn’t because of how dangerous podracing was. He was actually more concerned about facing Ahsoka if anything went wrong. Some powerful Sith lord he’d been, if that little ball of fire frightened him more than actual danger.

            He made his way back to where Watto was behind the fence, a safe distance away. “Your daughter? Will she be as good as you?” he asked him.

            “Probably better.” He laughed, surprised at how he felt the old pain melting away. He’d resented the old Toydarian for years. But after their exchange in the shop, he was now seeing just how toxic all of that had been. He couldn’t completely forgive him for owning slaves, it did make him feel a bit better knowing that he and his mother had been his first and only ones. And he supposed, if he was feeling generous, there was a certain amount of pleasure in learning that his business had sorely struggled without them. Even if it was petty to think about.

            Any chance at more conversation was drowned out by the roar of the pod’s engine. He watched with anticipation as she inspected the controls, feeling out how to fly it and then just a mere few seconds later, it took off like a shot, racing out of sight before you could really think about what it looked like. He closed his eyes, reaching into the force, feeling for her as the echoing sound slowly faded. He grinned to himself as he felt her excitement and the rush of adrenaline kicking in. He didn’t have to see her face to know she was loving it. It was such a strange thing to be sharing with his kid.

            Locked onto her progress in the force, he felt himself sinking back into his memories of that fateful race. The one that changed his whole life. He could feel the rush again. Remember the way he’d weaved in and out of the others and around the towering rocks of the valley. He could remember dodging the bullets, drifting the turns. Fighting back and forth with Sebulba.

            He looked up as he heard her shout in celebration as she raced past the finish line and then disappear again for another lap. He didn’t have a chronometer with him, but he could have sworn she beat his time.

            “Holy moley!” Watto exclaimed. “I wonder if I could make a wager on her…”

            “Don’t even think about it.” Anakin replied. “She’s not staying to race for you.”

            “Alright, alright.” He muttered. “Gotta earn a living somehow.”

            “I told you it was the fastest podracer in the galaxy. That race was barely scratching the surface of what it could do.” He commented.

            “Maybe I just needed a better pilot.” Watto teased. And Anakin frowned at him. But then shrugged. Yeah maybe, she was a natural. Even better than him. The difference was, she’d been trained in the force since she was a baby. All he’d had was reflexes and instinct. Had he had a similar training before that time, there would have been no competition.

            He waved at her as she raced around again, loving the smile of pure ecstasy on her face. Apparently, there were good things to be found on Tatooine. Who knew he’d find them through a daughter he’d never expected to have? He wondered if Luke or Leia would have had a similar experience with the pod. Luke was an excellent pilot too, he didn’t know about Leia. He was starting to see why he’d brought her along though. It wasn’t that he loved her more than his twins, it was that she just had a way about her. She was a pocket of sunshine. She had no preconceived notions of who he was or what he’d done. She took everything as it was and appreciated it. She could look past his mistakes and just be in the moment with who he was now. She didn’t seem to judge his moments of weakness or anger, she just took it in stride. And he was starting to really wish he’d appreciated Ahsoka’s ability to do that too more than he had.

            They turned around as a crowd of people appeared, making their way towards them. He should have known the people of Mos Espa couldn’t resist the sound of a pod race. That they’d come out of the woodwork to see them run, even if it was just a practice. But considering how dull it was here on Tatooine, it wasn’t really a surprise.

            “Old Watto found a pilot for that rusty piece of junk in his garage, huh?” Somebody exclaimed looking out at the track as Ashla went around again.

            “That rusty piece of junk is the best pod racer in the galaxy.” Anakin said indignant.

            “Care to make a wager on that?” the alien asked, getting up real close. He put his hand over his nose and looked back at him in disgust.

            “Care to take a bath?” he smirked.

            The alien snarled at him. “You’re pretty puny to talk like that. What are you, scared?”

            Anakin raised his brow. Scared? If only he knew who he was picking a fight with. He could show them all what he was capable of. Though it probably wasn’t a good idea. He heard the pod come to a stop behind him and felt Ashla approaching. He wasn’t sure he wanted her to get involved in this. He wasn’t ashamed to back down, but he was not going to let anyone gamble on his daughter no matter how good she was. Watto looked to him to see how he was going to react to the challenge.

            “Uh… What’s going on?” she asked, coming up beside him.

            “This slimo wants to challenge you to a race. I was about to tell him no.” Anakin said, crossing his arms and leaning back against the fence.

            “The puny human is scared. He knows he can’t win.” The alien responded, trying to rally the rest of the crowd to get them to pressure him into it.

            “The puny human doesn’t want to embarrass you.” He replied in annoyance.

            The alien let out a loud guffaw. “Embarrass me? I’ve won every race for the past twelve years!” the crowd around him cheered and started mocking Anakin.

            “Well this puny human has a challenge for you.” Ashla said stepping up. “Take a lap in less than two minutes. If you manage that, you got yourself a race.”

            “You got yourself a deal, girlie!” the alien puffed out his chest and most of the crowd dispersed to help him get his pod.

            “Ashla?” he asked, looking at her.

            “Don’t worry, dad. They can’t do it. Even my fastest time was over two minutes.”

            “I don’t know anything about these aliens though, they could have better reflexes than a force user.”

            “Well, if that’s the case, then you’ll have to race him.” She said getting quiet next to him.

            He looked at her concerned. “You don’t want to?”

            “Running laps by myself is fine, but I’m not comfortable racing right now.” She shuffled her feet.

            He pulled her to the side away from Watto. “Are you okay?”

            “I’m pregnant.” She said so quietly he was surprised he’d heard her. He stared at her for a moment before it registered what she’d said.

            “Oh.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “Then yeah, you’re definitely not racing someone else. If he somehow meets your terms, I’ll race in your place.”

            “I’ll be right back!” she exclaimed and took off running towards the town. He watched her go in confusion. She was pregnant? By who? Then he swallowed hard.  _Starkiller_. He wondered if Ahsoka knew. Though she probably did. They were so close, he’d be surprised if she hadn’t told her mother about it yet. He should have sounded more excited for her at the news, but it had taken him too much by surprise. He was just barely trying to find his place in the galaxy again and the idea that there’d be a new baby in his life very soon, kind of unnerved him. He’d missed out on being a father, he didn’t want to lose his chance to be a grandfather. Though admittedly, he’d kind of been enjoying the little time he’d gotten with his children, especially Ashla, he didn’t like the idea that things could be changing again.

 

\---

 

            Ashla was back before the alien reappeared with his pod racer. She looked pretty proud of herself as she marched past them to where Anakin’s old pod was parked. “You said I couldn’t wager on her,” Watto started, “But can I wager on you?”

            “You should find better ways to earn your money.” Anakin replied, watching Ashla take apart the right engine of the pod and get to work on fixing or upgrading something.

            “Look at me, boy! I have nothing. A shop full of useless junk and an old pod without a pilot. How else will I make money?”

            Anakin felt a pang of sympathy for him that actually irritated him. Watto had made mistakes, yes. But to condemn him to poverty for all eternity, simply because he held a grudge? It certainly wasn’t very loving. “No gambling.” Anakin said finally. “But let me talk to my daughter and we might figure out some way to help you.”

            “Really, Ani? Thank you.” Watto exclaimed. He bit his lip wondering if he was going soft.

            This certainly wasn’t how he thought his trip to Tatooine was going to go. In fact, he wasn’t even sure if he’d had a plan for coming back here. He just knew it held one of the biggest holes in his heart. Mainly because of his mother. He really missed her right now.

            She finished up with what she was doing, wiped her hands on her pants and made her way back to where they’d been watching her.

            “What’s got you smiling so wide?” he asked her.

            “I remembered that I saw a part in Watto’s shop that would give the pod just a bit more speed. Just in case that guy can beat the two minutes. I might not have been pushing it that hard.” She said with an impish grin.

            “I hope you plan to pay for that.” The Toydarian muttered under his breath, since your father won’t let me make a wager.

            “Of course.” She replied. Anakin put his arm around her and pulled her close, she hugged him tightly.

            “I think he got cold feet.” Anakin said with a laugh. “He should have been back by now.”

            “Cold feet on a desert planet?” Ashla smirked.

            “Well you know, it gets cold here every hundred years or so.” He replied and she giggled.

 

\---

 

            They waited another hour or so, but the alien never reappeared. The crowd that had been waiting seemed to realize that nothing was going to happen now and they all went away too. "I think you scared him." Anakin muttered.

            "Ooh, scary puny humans." Ashla joked as they went over to the pod to get it ready to take it back to the shop. Anakin admired the vehicle, surprised at just how much he'd missed the thrill of pod racing. Maybe he should take it for a spin, for old times sake. He'd flown all different types of ships since he'd left Tatooine, but he still held a soft spot for the one thing during his enslavement that had made him feel powerful and in control. He felt Ashla's hand on his back. "You want to go for a run?" She asked. 

            "No." He said quietly. It was time to let the past go. Watto had disappeared to go get the trailer for it. He leaned back against it and looked her over. "So, you're pregnant, huh?" He asked finally.

            "Yeah." She looked down at her feet. He studied her face. She looked ashamed, sad, broken, worried.

            "How do you feel about it?" As if he hadn't just read all that.

            He saw a tear trickle down the side of her face. "I'm scared." She admitted. 

            "Not of being a mother, I presume?" 

            "No. Of what it will be like. What if it's too much like him?" She looked up at him. "What if I look at it and am haunted by what he did to me? What if I can't love it?"

            He reached forward and took her face in his hand, brushing the tear off her cheek. "That's not possible." He whispered. 

            "How can you be so sure?" She asked worriedly.

            "Because you looked at me and saw everything I was and still loved me." He said simply. "And honestly, I think even if I hadn't been your father, you still would have. Maybe Starkiller hurt you. Maybe he tricked you or manipulated your feelings, and maybe you don't know if anything you felt for him was real, but the child inside you  _is_  real. And you have to look at it and see it, not him. Just like you looked at me and saw who I could be, not what I was. Don't condemn it for the mistakes it's father made. Just like Ahsoka never condemned you for the ones I did."

            She threw her arms around him and he held her tight. Hugging her back like he'd wanted to on Mustafar but had been too frozen in surprise. "Thank you." She whispered as she buried her face in his chest. 

            "I'm the one that should be thanking you." He said, stroking her hair and then feeling guilty that his mechanical fingers got caught in her curls.

            She looked up at him and wiped her tears. "You don't seem so pale." She laughed and he smirked at her. "The suns have done you good."

            "Forget those suns!" He exclaimed. "I have one right here." He said, patting her on the shoulder. "But I think I'm going blind from looking at it too long."

            She blushed and looked away. "I'll buy you some sun goggles when we get back in town." They both laughed. "How are you feeling about Watto?"

            "I don't know." He said thoughtfully. "I'm not sure I can ever completely let it go, but I do feel better now. Like I'm seeing him in a new light. Which, speaking of... you up for helping him get back on his feet?"

            "Sure. If that's what you want to do." She replied. "What do you have in mind?"

            "I was thinking maybe we could fix or build a few things for him, that he can sell. I'd much rather him do legitimate business than be gambling because he's desperate."

            "I think that would be nice." She said. 

            "It means a few more days on this dust bowl than I intended." He rolled his eyes as he saw Watto coming back with the trailer.

            "It's okay, we'll go back with tans and everyone will be jealous." She giggled and headed over to help the old junk dealer maneuver the trailer closer to the track.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I ran out of time to update this before deciding to share it, so there will be one more chapter after this, hopefully soon.

          “I have a couple more things I need to do before I leave.” Anakin replied. He looked down at his feet for a moment and took a deep breath. “Ahsoka…” he breathed looking up at her, grateful that Ashla had asked Ahsoka and Luke to join them on Tatooine. He’d enjoyed the time with their daughter, but what he had to face now… he needed the one person that had never given up on him. The one that had never stopped believing in him. Even if he feared the possibility that this confession could tip the scale.

          He didn’t even have to ask. She’d already stepped up to him. “Right beside you, Skyguy.” She said with a laugh. He smiled at her gratefully.

          “Ashla, Luke... you don’t have to wait around. We’ll meet up with you soon.” He said. They exchanged a glance and nodded. Ashla gave him a reassuring smile and then turned, running to catch up with Luke. He smiled as he watched them chatting happily with each other. He was grateful they could look past his own mistakes and still see each other as family.

          He stood there until they’d disappeared into the ship and took off. Ahsoka hung by his right side, but stayed quiet. She, like Ashla, seemed to intuitively understand that this was his journey and they were just along for support. Which meant that they’d let him lead. And that terrified him a little too much. None of the paths he was having to go down now were easy or painless, so having witnesses to it was that much worse. Ashla had stepped in and initiated his healing were slavery was concerned and he had no idea how Ahsoka would help him fix this next part. Because really, he didn’t think there was a way to fix it. It just was something that had happened.

          Ahsoka followed him back into town and helped him load up the crates of supplies he’d bought earlier without asking any questions. Once everything was accounted for, they each mounted an eopie and headed southwest into the desert. It was a slow trip, he wasn’t pushing the animals as hard as he could have, but he wasn’t really in a hurry to get there anyways.

          They arrived there about an hour or so before the twin suns would start to set. They’d met no resistance, which had surprised him. But the valley below was empty. It would seem that other tribes of tuskens had never claimed the site. He sensed that there were some nearby, but the location that had once been a thriving colony was deserted with no signs of life. There were still some standing tent poles and some bantha bones visible, but everything else had been buried by years of sandstorms.

          He stopped his eopie and dismounted, sticking his hands in his pockets to stop them from trembling. He stared ahead blankly, his chest tight from pain and fear, and something more. Something he’d never expected to feel; regret. He glanced to the side as he felt Ahsoka come up next to him. Then he crouched down on the edge of the ridge and ran his mechanical fingers across the sand.

          “I have a confession to make.” He said finally, his voice strained.

          She knelt down next to him and set one hand on his back.

          “Before the Clone Wars started, I was on Naboo to protect Padmé when I had a nightmare about my mother suffering. I couldn’t ignore it, or let it go like the Jedi taught and I convinced her to come with me so that I could go to her. When I got here, I found out that my mother had been freed from slavery and married the man that freed her. But she’d been kidnapped by sand people.” He felt himself shaking with residual anger and tried to force himself to relax. “She died in my arms, Ahsoka.” He said furiously. “They’d tortured her, beaten her nearly to death. And I killed all of them. Men, women, children. It didn’t matter. Not even the animals survived. I killed a hundred because they killed one.”

          He fell back onto his butt, writhing in the pain of his admission. He feared looking up at her. Feared what she’d say. He’d gotten the impression all those years ago that Padmé had not fully comprehended what he’d admitted, but Ahsoka would. There was no doubt about that. She would know in a way, no one else could. “The scar.” She said surprisingly calm and almost thoughtful.

          “What?” he choked out in surprise, thinking she meant the scar on his eye. The one that Ventress had given him when he was just a padawan.

          “The one I felt in you, but never asked about. I get it now.” She whispered. He risked a glance to see that she had stood up and was staring off into the distance at something.

          He followed her eyes and saw that across the ridge stood at least a dozen figures. He blinked a few times to see if his eyes were playing tricks on him. But they were still there. Still as statues, watching them. He was both unnerved by their presence and also by how calm Ahsoka seemed about that confession. As understanding as she was, that admission deserved backlash. “I was never a hero. I think I was destined to become a Sith.” He said suddenly. Realizing the one thing he’d tried to deny for years had been the truth. He’d never been cut out to be a Jedi.

          “You’re wrong, Anakin.” She said adamantly, looking down to stare at him intensely. “There is no such thing as destiny. We are what we choose to be. For awhile, you chose to be a Jedi. Then, you chose to be a Sith. What do you choose to be now?”

          He looked past her at the people standing along the ridge, wondering what they were thinking. It wasn't like the tuskens to reveal themselves before an attack. They preferred stealth and surprise. Could they somehow sense his intrusion, his turmoil? Did they know he was the one responsible for this? Even after all this time?

          "I don't know what I am, Ahsoka. I'm not sure I ever knew. And I'm certainly not sure I ever can be one or the other again." He said tiredly, still feeling as though her response to his confession was too muted. 

          "Then we'll walk the middle together." She said, then she turned and started unloading the carts. He watched her absentmindedly for awhile, wondering why she was so forgiving. But especially why she didn't scream or shout, or screw up her face and tout her 'I know better' stance she'd done at least a thousand times before. Why didn't she call him out? Or tell him he was an idiot? She hadn't hesitated to call him a knucklehead before. 

          "Why aren't you yelling at me?" He asked finally. "Why are you so calm? Honestly, it's unnerving." 

          She leaned back against the crates she'd stacked and crossed her arms in front of her. He saw an echo on her face of the times she'd look at him disapprovingly. "Will yelling help? Will calling you names make you feel better?" 

          "It would at least feel normal." He said, shuffling his feet.

          "None of this is normal." She said quietly. 

          He closed his eyes. "You're right about that."

          She threw up her hands. "What you did here was awful. No, it was more than awful. It was dark and evil and you never should have done it. But does me saying that change anything? No, it doesn't. Because you wouldn't be confessing it to me if you didn't already know that. So what good would it do to call you names? Or condemn you for it?"

          "None, I suppose." He said, ashamed, cringing at how much more terrible it sounded coming out of her mouth than his own. 

          "Bring them back." She demanded. 

          "What?" He looked at her in confusion. 

          "Bring them back. Resurrect them. Undo what you did." She gestured to the valley below them.

          "I can't." He replied, feeling a bit of annoyance. 

          "You're right, you can't bring them back. You can't undo it. You can't resurrect the dead." He looked over at her, wondering where she was going. "So... what can I say that will change it?"

          "Nothing." He said simply.

          "Now you know why I stayed silent." She turned and went back to unloading the cart. "But if you truly believed that nothing could be done to change what you did, you wouldn't be here now." She glanced over her shoulder at him. 

          He chewed on his lip for a moment, staring at her in disbelief. Again he was wrong and she was right. As always, she knew the way even before he did. All these years, he'd thought he was leading her, and she was following, but he couldn't have been more wrong. She was guiding from behind, pointing the way, but never stealing the control from him. Somehow, ages ago, she'd figured out just how badly he'd needed to feel in control. And instead of be condescending like the others, or lecture him like Obi wan, or be supportive but unhelpful... she'd stood beside him, subtly making adjustments as though she was course correcting a ship's autopilot algorithm. 

          But it wasn't that she'd ever tried to make him do something he didn't want to do, but rather help him do what he didn't know how to. She'd never manipulated him, she'd just quietly, and sometimes not so quietly, pointed the way. Knowing exactly how, at any given moment, to get him to autocorrect his route. And he  _had_  autocorrected, because the direction she had pointed had been exactly where he'd wanted to go. They'd been even more in sync than he'd realized. He now understood what he had been blind to before; the only person that had truly known him, was her. And the moment she'd walked away, he'd careened off course so terribly, it was going to take a long time to find the path again. 

          Yet here she stood, as though perfectly aware of the trek ahead, but unfazed by how difficult it could be. Her fearlessness, the trait of hers that he'd admired the most, was not in battle, but love. She couldn't promise they'd never see hell, only that she'd stand by him when they did. 

          He closed the distance between them, spinning her around and pulled her into his arms. "I'm so sorry!" He breathed, holding her so tight he never wanted to let go. "I'm sorry I never saw your love. Or appreciated it." He felt her arms move up his back as she dug into his shoulders. "You were right. You were always right. I didn't know how to love."

          "Yes you did," she squeaked, and he released her enough so she could breathe again. "Because you taught me how." She looked up at his face. "I didn't know what love was until I met you. But you can love deeply and still make bad choices. Look at us. None of us were perfect. I shouldn't have left you that day, I thought I was doing the right thing. But if I'd stayed, would I have been able to stop you? Or would you have killed me too? And your love for your mother, made you lash out in fear, you wanted to hurt the people that hurt you. But if you were completely lost to the light, if that choice had condemned you for eternity, you wouldn't be here right now. Love isn't about perfection. It just is. When you love someone, you always love them." 

          They finally parted and he glanced back at the ridge, surprised to see a lot more figures standing there watching them. He picked up a crate and trekked slowly down the cliff to the valley below. He was acutely aware of how vulnerable they were as they entered the open area. Any one of the sand people watching could take them out, they were best known for their sniper skills. Deadly and usually before you knew what hit you. But he moved to the center of the encampment anyways, ignoring the danger and set down the crate. Ahsoka set the one she'd picked up down next to it. And then they did, what you were taught from a very young age on Tatooine never to do; they turned their back on the tuskens and headed back up the cliff.

          They could have used the force, both in moving the crates and getting up and down the ridge, but the manual labor was therapeutic and with each trip, he felt lighter. They got the last two crates down to the bottom just as the sky began to darken into night. 

          He looked up at the ridge full of people now and bowed to them. Then he and Ahsoka made the final trek back up to where they'd left their eopies and mounted them. From where they sat, they watched several scouts slowly make their way down to the valley to inspect the crates. They opened the lids and shouted in surprise up at the others, holding up the contents so they could see. In the crates, Anakin had bought as many meal bags and water packs as he could manage. Because well, as Ahsoka had said, he couldn't resurrect the ones he'd killed, but maybe he could help the ones that were left. 

          He nodded to them, even if he wasn't sure they could see the small gesture from that far away, and turned his mount to the south, heading towards the old Lars homestead. It had been his son's home, not his, but that was where his mother was buried, and that was the last part of his pilgrimage here on Tatooine.


End file.
